Photo Taken From:http://www.jacktimes.com/technology/mobile/mobile-phones-dirtier-than-toilet-paper.html
It’s oft been mentioned that it would be quite hard to imagine a 21st century world without mobile phones. It’s not only hard to imagine—it’s downright troubling to think about it. Who can ever conceive of having to meet your blind date without the comfort of having a phone in your hand you can easily use to send a text message making sure that your date wouldn’t stand you up? A mobile phone can also be the perfect escape if, after finally meeting your blind date, you discover him or her to be the most horrid character you have ever met in your life (perhaps your date was actually a Nazi or some delusional, fanatical terrorist)—you simply reach for it secretly, push a button that makes it chime with its cheesiest, most ghoulish ringtone, and then pretend that you’ve just received a call that there’s been some bizarre break-in at your house, and you really should leave immediately. And no, your date can’t come along with you because your father/mother is a freakish, gun-toting, traumatized war veteran who turns purely homicidal when he/she sees her son/daughter come home with some stranger. Or some other appropriately pre-empting threat.
The same goes for laptops, cars, airplanes, glossy magazines, fast-food restaurants, dog collars, sunglasses, electric guitars—we are essentially overwhelmed with everyday objects both big and small that we cannot ever think of living without in the present. It doesn’t even seem possible that many people were able to live to old age never having used soda or beer cans at all, and were never able to enjoy having to crush them underfoot just so that they could examine what would happen. It’s easy to conclude that bringing back today what life was a century ago would be outrageously unbearable.
And we haven’t even thought of a world without toilet paper yet. It may well be one of the most apocalyptic scenarios one could ever think of.
Photo Taken From:http://www.sodahead.com/living/which-is-dirtier-your-cell-phone-or-your-toilet/question-1125589/?link=ibaf&imgurl=https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Zg998ZaFMO3YmqLl8WpitRtlI3XK5Wci8uwlZjR5bEEfC9mRBv9dDwmnFwFhD4x2joM-vizzRUFoOlYrv2DmhCD-Fa0MOgYGfIuDTUM9SKJi9tZh44-6iRSVREvduW9wVQ9CSC3XQPT0/s400/no-toilet-paper.jpg&q=toilet%2Bpaper%2Band%2Bmobile%2Bphone
Even though it’s a very well-known fact that a vast number of the global population would still not have toilet rolls in their toilets at home (oh come on—admit it), it must also be said that more toilet paper rolls are sold per day compared to mobile phones—and pretty much every other piece of gadgetry out there. This is something none of us would really normally think about—what is it to drop a whole toilet roll into a toilet bowl anyway? As opposed to clumsily dropping your latest I-Gizmo into the same chute? And why did you even have to bring that sort of equipment into the toilet cubicle, in any case? Were you actually planning to make a call or play a video game with your pants down? Come on, just admit it. But the point is, we do not typically give a fib or two about toilet paper. It’s just something that we snatch in small or large portions, wipe something with, then crumple and flush along with the rest of our bodily rubbish. It’s not something we lose sleep over.
Suppose that some staggering cataclysm would occur and snuff each and every mobile phone, every laptop computer, every electronic gadget out of existence? No one has to think too hard about what would happen. Then again, we could point this hypothesis in another direction. Suppose that, rather than electronics disappearing, the whirlwind disaster instead chooses to obliterate all traces of toilet paper everywhere? Why, it would most assuredly plunge the world into madness. We are usually reminded that an acute shortage of potable water can quite alarmingly escalate into water riots if the crisis were not contained. We ought well remind ourselves that a sudden annihilation of all toilet paper in the world in one fell stroke can equally result in eruption after eruption of riotous upheavals left and right. It could rightly be considered an act of terrorism so monstrous, even hardboiled terrorists themselves would probably loathe even thinking of perpetrating such dastardliness.
Photo Taken From:http://spaces.covers.com/blog/collegegambler/NBA/06162010-Los-Angeles-Riots-again-after-winning-title-again.html
No one would be spared. Hospitals, airports, universities, houses of parliament and congress, restaurants, palaces, tourist resorts, churches, hotels—practically all places of congregation would be reduced to swirling masses of angry and confused crowds nearly driven insane, throwing the blame at each other for using up too much toilet paper, perhaps degenerating into thunderous waves of enraged mobs converging into free-for-all brawls, fistfights, hair-pulling, teeth-pulling, and maybe even full-blown ferocious gun-battles. The picture would be one of perfectly encompassing chaos. Even in the military frontline, the absence of toilet paper anywhere can quickly develop into unspeakable torment. Put yourself in the place of the squadron-members baking under the hot deserts of Iraq and Afghanistan right now. Think about having to realize that you may just have to start using your combat-tested, camouflage-grade uniforms for certain functions other than their original purpose. It may have been true that for want of a nail a kingdom was lost, and for want of toilet paper much more may truly be at stake.
Photo Taken From:http://thechive.com/2010/12/01/toilet-paper-it-doesnt-just-come-in-white-30-photos/
Which only goes to show that toilet paper pretty much occupies a crucial position in sustaining the balance and harmony not only of your own daily existence, but that of the rest of the world as well—however much we have always taken it for granted. Perhaps, then, it is about time that we take a closer and deeper look at this marvel of fiber and weave so indispensible to modern—and even future—civilization. Just make sure that whatever piece of toilet paper you are closely inspecting hasn’t been used yet.
Photo Taken From:http://bachlerblog.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html
It almost goes without saying that toilet paper was actually invented. Still, this fact needs to be said—if only to rightly assert that, like any other confounding but simple inventions which we come across regularly—the toothbrush, or the paper clip, to name two—the history of how our modern toilet paper came to be is a fascinating odyssey through myth, history, a bit of controversy, and technological advancement. Every bit of this story so captures one’s contemplation, it would be no surprise if you thought of it every once in a while as you are performing your most private deed sitting astride your porcelain or stainless steel toilet bowl. This is particularly useful if you’ve neglected to bring something to read in those few precious minutes of your day.
Toilet paper had its beginnings during the time of the ancients—ah yes, those remote periods very much shrouded under thick mists of lore and legend. Painstaking research into archaic bibliographical materials unearthed the portion of a Chinese document traced back to 6th-century AD, when China was entering its medieval era. While the European world was writhing in turmoil, with fiefdoms and kingdoms continually skirmishing over the crumbling ramparts of the once-majestic Roman Empire, a high-ranking scholar and official of the Imperial Chinese court named Yan Zhitui—living a continent away—wrote thus:
"Paper on which there are quotations or commentaries from Five Classics or the names of sages, I dare not use for toilet purposes" (italics added).
Photo Taken From:http://www.timtim.com/article/detail/id/11/sortby/date
Apparently, Imperial China was back then enjoying a calm, fruitful, and productive period, and afforded its denizens the opportunity to introduce progress in the matter of personal fastidiousness. Although no one knows with precise certainty who among the Chinese was able to develop the idea of using paper for “toilet purposes”, logic and common sense could helpfully tell us how the idea came about.
It is common textbook knowledge that paper for handwriting and calligraphy has been part of Chinese society since its earliest period. And where people can use paper to write on, so will those same societies adopt the habit of sending letters to each other—mostly containing idle gossip as well as official matters. It so happened that a Chinese individual possessed of a brilliant mind was reading a letter while sitting on the loo (something that many persons still do today), and it also was pure coincidence that it was a letter from an Imperial tax collector accusing our Chinaman on the loo of not paying his taxes correctly. Unfortunately, our Chinese hero has had repeated disagreements with this impetuous tax collector many times before, and this accusatory letter was nothing short of the most exasperating affront. Our brilliant Chinaman, out of insufferable fury, then exclaims to himself “What a f**king *ss-wipe!” in his most vitriolic Mandarin (or Cantonese, whichever), in reference to the letter-sender.
After a few moments of trembling silence, it suddenly occurs to our Chinaman that the very words he had just uttered on impulse were something that he could physically carry out. He of course could in no way get a hold of the offending tax-official in person. But here was the letter, and the tax officer’s written name on it, in his own hands. Should he but derisively wipe his *ss with it, paying careful attention to use the fragment where the tax-collector’s name was written, he would be paying a most abominable, even smearing insult upon this fiend of the Imperial revenue office, albeit merely symbolically. At the same time, the act would cleanse him and allow him to stay hygienic. It was akin to killing two birds with one stone, and it was beautiful. Of course, all of this is still a matter of conjecture and debate. However, we must always keep in mind that profound changes in human habits and ways of thinking often began with trifling moments, such as Isaac Newton witnessing the falling of a fruit from a tree and hitting him on the head, and Charles Darwin waking up blearily and looking at himself on the mirror—only to observe that his sleep-deprived face bore some resemblance to the chimpanzee. The former consequently laid the groundwork for the laws of gravity, while the latter formulated the theory of evolution. Both are also beautiful. The point is, the use of paper for toilet functions originated in one household in China, and then gradually gained a measure of popularity.
Photo Taken From:http://winewriter.wordpress.com/2008/05/
(This is not in any way meant to denigrate China and its peoples. This writer has many Chinese friends and is an admirer of Chinese civilization past and present. Among the many other great inventions that China has given the world are the clock, the rocket-projectile, and ceramics—to but name a few. Chinese inventions also include a contrivance that greatly advanced personal sanitation to new uncharted heights, which by chance is used for a person’s bottom.)
By the 14th century, during the Yuan Dynasty’s reign, it was recorded that the present location of current-era Zhejiang province was once a hubbub of toilet paper manufacture, with facilities cranking out around ten million packets per year, each packet containing around 1,000 to 10,000 pieces of toilet paper. These were presumably hand-woven and hand-sewn, which would mean that it would have been only the elite class who must have had enough money to afford them. It may be hard to believe now, but there’s a good chance that toilet paper was once a mark of elevated social status. That could well be the equivalent of having toilet paper with embedded electronics or nano-technology in our modern world, no matter how absurd it may sound (more on that later).
Over time, Imperial China came to acknowledge that a steady supply of toilet paper was essential to sustaining an acceptable level of orderliness in their court. Records indicate that during the Ming Dynasty, which ruled China for well over two centuries, 720, 000 sheets of toilet paper were stocked for the use of government officials and nobility in the capital Nanjing, a volume vastly outnumbering their yearly supply of moon cakes. These stocks measured three feet wide and two feet in length, spectacularly bigger than everybody’s dinner plate, again reiterating toilet paper’s pre-eminent importance. Good grief, even the present-day baby diaper won’t hold a candle to that. The Imperial Bureau of Supplies from the same ruling dynasty further stated that another 15, 000 sheets were of special make, with their own peculiar brand of softer fabric, and infused as well with a scent of perfume—all for the consumption of Emperor Hongwu and his family. Any archaeologist who may manage to retrieve fragments of those same toiletries might well fetch a fortune at many auctions today.
Photo Taken From:
http://treasure.1x1y.com.cn/useracticles/20080828/20080828101305888.html
While China—or at least, their Imperial court-members—was already into the trend of using paper in their toilet, the rest of the world still was not. The counterparts of Chinese high society in Europe, for instance—the Royal families, the princes and princesses, dukes and duchesses, earls and matrons—, pretty much kept on using other materials for their toilet rituals. Wool, lace, and hemp were typically known as their preferred cleansing implements, which can easily make one wonder how many sheep and plants had to go under the knife to serve the necessities of royalty back in those days. Less wealthy members of the populace, on the other hand, were content to scavenge for whatever convenient resource was at hand—in fact, using their own hands would have sufficed when near a river or any other body of water. But of course, they were also not averse to using environmentally friendly organics such as wood shavings, grass, leaves, hay, stone, sand, moss, water, snow—practically anything you could discard very easily. Even fruit skins and corncobs were fair game.
(Don't get any ideas. These are actually corncobs.)Photo Taken From:
http://www.nps.gov/band/historyculture/artfarm.htm
And so, there was this almost unimaginably interminable length of time when only a few people in China were using toilet paper—it stretched to millennia. Even today, large populations in this Earth subsist without it. However, social conventions have also undergone a huge change ever since those days of yore. In our modern world, our habits have simplified the choice between toilet paper and other alternatives. These days, when you do request for something you want to clean yourself with after using the toilet, you will more likely be handed a fresh roll of toilet paper instead of hay, wood shavings, or banana skins. Toilet paper has become more commonplace now than any other alternative, and this ground-breaking change is credited to one man.
Photo Taken From:http://www.serc-enterprise.ac.uk/enterprise-resources/curriculum/7/business-and-enterprise/case-studies/item/7/joseph-gayetty-toilet-roll/
That person is Joseph C. Gayetty, an innovator who will forever be known as the genius behind…well, what you use on your behind. In 1857, Mr. Gayetty was the first person in the United States to sell paper pieces in packages of flat sheets, gracefully infused with aloe, and marked with his name. “Gayetty’s Medicated Paper” was originally sold as an aid to relieve the physical discomforts of people suffering from haemorrhoids—indeed, a disorder which, at that time, was perceived to be treatable by a solution of antiseptic aloe. Of course, no one can really tell whether Mr. Gayetty’s invention was in fact an effective remedy, because haemorrhoids still persist as the dreaded scourge it has always been; what was important, however, was that it became socially acceptable in wider circles to use paper specifically produced for wiping one’s self after finishing one’s toilet duties. Toilet paper was thus liberated from its confinement in China and was now ready to be unleashed upon a bigger world.
Mr. Gayetty eventually became lucky enough to be recognized as the modern toilet paper’s originator. Like many other revolutionary inventions, the genesis of modern commercial toilet paper underwent some controversy. Another inventor named Seth Wheeler apparently patented a product in 1871 that could be described as rolls of perforated paper wrapped around cylindrical spools, which were simply branded as toilet paper rolls which could be used by anybody, whether they had haemorrhoids or not. And so, there exist until today conflicting records referring to either Mr. Gayetty or Mr. Wheeler as the progenitor of commercial toilet paper. Again, this only serves to remind us that toilet paper has a more complex background to it than we typically think of.
Photo Taken From:http://www.thecarconnection.com/marty-blog/1019133_toilet-paper-even-less-eco-friendly-than-hummer-h2
The stage had then been set for commercial toilet paper wars. As toilet paper’s popularity, acceptance, and market appeal began rising, there was plenty of money to be made in the enterprise, and many entrepreneurs left and right were willing to stake their claims on it. And then, just as big business was all but ready to take on toilet paper and propel it into new avenues and possibilities, another breakthrough invention happened to come along that opened the door to an explosion of potential: the flushing toilet bowl. Competition was thus driven to a higher notch altogether.
Finally, the dogs of war were unleashed—in this case, the prize was to find what properties and characteristics could make a variant of toilet paper capture the patronage of the most number of buyers. Toward this goal, different companies began sprouting up like mushrooms, conducting multiple trials and experiments on perhaps innumerable human test subjects—the use of lab rats would obviously be out of the question on such undertakings so sophisticated and delicate. The young and old, the infirm and the healthy, the religious and the atheist—no one was to be exempt from the eager research of toilet paper scientists. They were pursuing answers to questions that had seldom been asked before: What would be more comfortable, a cotton soft texture or a polyester smooth texture? Does it need the grip of a truck tire or a looser one? Should a scent of jasmine take precedence over that of citrus? Is it better to have 1-ply compared to 2-ply? Do you feel that it tickles you more than you want to? For a certain period, it was very much a time of discovery, and the possibilities were infinite.
Photo Taken From:http://www.life.com/image/56811740
As the 19th century drew to a close, no less than three toilet paper manufacturers rolled into mass-production and ushered in an epoch of change from which nobody looked backwards ever again. It was all toilet paper or nothing. Their vision of a world united in the regular consumption of toilet paper broke through barriers and brought together almost every race, creed, and color. With every toilet paper roll taken off the grocery shelves, with every hand tearing off a sheet and proceeding to wipe, that vision has found unending triumph and fulfilment through one hundred years of the 20th century, and most likely another hundred in the 21st.
Photo Taken From:http://everyjoe.com/technology/manga-toilet-paper-enjoy-your-shitting-or-any-other-business-130/
What started out (presumably) as a single spark of inspiration inside an obscure outhouse in ancient China has valiantly fought its way out from the deep forest of anonymity. Although toilet paper has always been unjustly regarded as predestined for the muck and crud of aquifers and sewers riddled with filth and flotsam, its royal heritage cannot be denied; where Emperors and Empresses kept court in chambers forbidden to all but the most privileged, toilet paper was there. And it was only a matter of the inevitable that it has come to embrace its destiny and is now irrepressibly a global force to be reckoned with, even if it took eons to travel that route. Something that you use for waste matter, quite paradoxically, is in fact firmly entrenched to a gargantuan industry with their own fortresses and territories spanning the four corners of our Earth. From sprawling estates, to massive factories, to high-rise offices, all with their own staff—an entire network of huge magnitude and scale comprises the complex machinery purely devoted to bringing that toilet paper into your hands and straight to your…ahem, you get the picture.
Photo Taken From:http://www.life.com/image/56811641
And since toilet paper has come under the patronage of giant industrial companies and tycoons, it has benefitted so greatly from the combined efforts of the most astute craftsmen, engineers, and scientists working together to continually make it better. Yes, the scenario can make your eyes pop out thinking about the implications, since many schools and universities don’t even receive a tenth of such efforts from so many sectors. But toilet paper enjoys this much clout and much more. As a result, we are now inundated with toilet paper of all possible types and varieties to suit individual tastes and preferences. They come in a multitude of colors, textures, scents, designs, packages, even tensile strength and moisture content. If every one of these were paraded in front of you, you may well experience a life-threatening mental overload—just having a whiff of all those conflicting fragrances might send you to the hospital.
Make no mistake, we have absolutely not yet seen the end of the road for toilet paper innovation. As was mentioned earlier, nano-technology—or the compression of digital electronics and capabilities into microscopic proportions—may very well find uses for toilet paper. Microprocessor technology has already started appearing in certain household items and implements. We now hear of refrigerators that calculate the calories of the food stored inside them, among other semblances of intelligence. We have seen dining tables that are also self-contained computers which connect to the internet, and enable you to buy products online as you are picking into your chicken. Why shouldn’t toilet paper assimilate into its manufacture the same level of cutting-edge wizardry when nano-technology is perfected?
Photo Taken From:http://collect3d.com/news/robot-toilet-paper-holder-aiyusha/
One day, perhaps your toilet paper sheet will be able to talk to you even before you take a wipe, especially since you will be dealing with areas you don’t necessarily see with your own eyes. “Please move a little to the left”; “Kindly wipe a little to the right…oops, you moved too far to the right, please retract your arm back a little…yes, that’s it”; “There is a little bit left on the bottom.” Who knows? Maybe something like this is bound to happen in the near future. We already see cars talking to their owners, right?
So now it’s best to take a step backward, put our feet back on the ground, and re-align our vision towards a simpler perspective. Yes, of course, you will still continue using toilet paper the same way you have always used it—but then, at the same time, it may be that after knowing about its enduring legacy, you may have acquired a new respect and regard for toilet paper that you never had before. That one single toilet roll you may regularly see all the time actually has a rich past, a glorious present, and even a promising future. Toilet paper needs to stay there, by your side, always dependable, until the end of your days. It’s easier to sympathize now with conservation pundits who every once in a while make a clamor that you shouldn’t needlessly waste the toilet paper that you use for your…er, waste.
Photo Taken From:http://nerdapproved.com/misc-weirdness/dont-smoke-this-toilet-tissue/
And how can the ennoblement of toilet paper be useful in enhancing our daily existence? Well, if you grow the capacity to attach value to something like toilet paper, then chances are that you’re one of those individuals who place even greater value and respect to a whole lot of more precious things as well. Maybe you generally don’t take other people for granted, too. The diversity of our billion-strength population means that persons can come in all varieties, colors, textures, and even scents. People are vastly more precious than toilet paper, almost needless to say, and that makes them more deserving of balanced judgement, concern, and care. Everyone needs to get along harmoniously with each other. And if it takes a deep contemplation of toilet paper just to remind ourselves of that every once in a while, then why not?
Because we need less of people who are careless and abusive of a lot of things—be they toilet paper, animals, people, cars, their health, whatever. There are even world leaders who take so many things for granted, they can declare war on whole countries and civilizations without batting an eyelash, and consign the fate of many people to wanton destruction. It is these sorts of senseless individuals we need to clean our world of, since they simply have too much sh*t, not on their rear ends, but actually inside their heads. If only we could use toilet paper to rid ourselves of their ilk. That would be beautiful.
Photo Taken From:http://www.susannah.typepad.com/
(Note: Most of the [hopefully] factual and historical data on this blog was obtained from http://www.toiletpaperhistory.net/ and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_paper)
